When the seas and the visibility are the same, it's probably a bad day of diving.
When the wreck you're diving on, is the one that brought you to the dive site it's probably a bad day of diving.
It's ok to pee in your wet suit, but not your dive buddy's .
A deflated BCD on the surface will not help you no matter how close you thought the two of you were.
With the exception of rules 1 and 2, usually a bad day of diving is better than most other things.
If you get up at 4 AM, drive 3 hours, get on a boat and run 2 hours in the hot sun, only to put on 7 mm of wetsuit in 90 + degree weather, jump into 55 degree water, to look at another boat on the bottom of 75 ft of water for fun, you are probably a serious diver or NUTS! And most people would believe the latter.
Be afraid of the vicious orange diver sausage eel. It has been know to entangle its self around the legs of at least one unsuspecting diver. Be very very afraid.
If you come to the surface and don't see your boat, look down first.
At the end of a dive when you get back on the dive boat, and don't recognize anyone, you may want to quietly get back in the water and swim to your boat.
I have been to 130 ft, didn’t leave anything there, don’t need to go back.
If that one piece wet suit was easy to put on, it's probably too big. If it was easy to zip up, it's probably on backwards.
When you think you are ready to enter the water, if you can answer the dive master when asked, you may want to put your regulator in your mouth.
There is no dive too shallow to scare me.
Never let them say “At least he died with his weights on”, about you
On the surface with your BC, “Don’t Debate, Inflate”.
Better to end a dive with too much air, than not enough.
You know you’re a diver when you would rather be on the deck of a shipwreck than a cruise ship.
You know you are a diving nut when you spend more time with your regulator than your significant other.
We spend the first 2 years of our life learning not to pee on ourselves, and all of our time in a wetsuit unlearning.
The best diving stories start with one of the following: So, there I was at 90 ft on the deck of this ship wreck… So, there I was on this dive boat….. So, there I was at 80 ft and no dive buddy in sight….. So there she (he) was, a Greek goddess (god) in dive gear….. So, there I was surrounded by……
Every wet suit can be a “Hot Water Suit” if you drink enough coffee.
Some day I am going to find what I lost, then I can stop diving.
There are old divers and bold divers, but no old bold divers…
A snorkel is an unimportant pain in the butt when diving… until you need it!
Diving safety is just a bunch of unnecessary rules…. until luck runs out!
What wetsuits and penguins have in common
Every Diver should have a Squire to carry their gear and assist with suiting up, as did the knights of old
More to come….. If you have some good ones please feel free to send them to me.